Two weeks. A lot can happen in two weeks. You can give notice at your place of employment. You can flit about Europe with your family. You can take a crash course in gardening...only to find that you wasted every penny because you suck big-fat-hairy-ones at anything even remotely related to soil. You can come to terms with the gut wrenching heart break over the ending of a friendship that was sadly very one-sided anyway. But what absolutely CANNOT happen in two weeks is...CONSTRUCTION!!!
If a contractor strides into your home, looks at your home's issues and declares with an authority akin to John Wayne..."Well I can have this hitched up in less than two weeks Mam."...HE IS LYING!!!!!! I so wish people would just give me a straight up honest assessment of things like this. "Mam, your house is pretty fubared. You need to expect us to be in your house and all up in your business for at least four weeks. Maybe five if El Nino rears his ugly head. Six if my gout flares." THAT is a time table I would believe. But two weeks? Um...not so much.
I guess if any good is coming out of my home's latest Bi-Polar episode...it would be that now we don't have to hire anyone to paint the kitchen and the upstairs. We also won't be forking out $2000 for new carpet. Viva la Home Owner's Insurance! The downside being of course that we will have who knows how many smelly, anal-cleft-showin', scraggly handy men clomping all through our home. Ya know what...that's not fair. I'm sure they aren't all like that. I have several friends who ended up with some mighty delightful looking young gentlemen tending their home's various woes. It just seems that MY house prefers em' big, stupid and smelly.
And while we are on the subject of stinky...can I just offer this teensy nugget of advice to contractors? Invest in a Port-O-Potty!!! No one enjoys hearing your breakfast burrito and value meal roaring out of your butt in our bathrooms. Its disgusting actually. Please go poop in your own private closet in the drive way. Or stop eating things that burn a hole through our toilets...and our souls. Seriously.
So as our newest remodel baby prepares for her painful birth...I ask that you keep all us Lavers in your prayers. Cause' we are gonna need them. Especially since Home Depot just called and informed me that the bathroom flooring and carpet we want will be here soon...in two weeks. Awesome. Just fricken awesome.
No comments:
Post a Comment