Never forgotten...ever...

      I  WAS sitting at my desk working. I WAS accomplishing something other than creating pools of tears on my keyboard. I was. Until that is, I had the incredibly STUPID idea to turn on the news. This is something I rarely do. Sure...I will go online and read the blurbs and articles I choose to read...pieces that broaden my global knowledge...pieces that add to my life...pieces that teach me something or enlighten me and my family's journey on this jacked-up-chunk-o-rock we call Earth.

   Then I read the story of Etan Patz. Etan IS a little boy...not WAS...but IS...because regardless of what some demented evil scum did to him...he will always and forever remain a six year old boy to his parents. Etan was taken, just steps from his bus stop on a damp Manhattan morning in 1979. His disappearance spear-headed the Kid-On-A-Milk-Carton movement. His precious face lead the charge for millions of  other faces...forever a breakfast companion...forever in the back of, at least, my mind.

   Today in Manhattan...in what I am sure is a building that has seen dozens of rebirths and renewals in an attempt to change with the times and current styles...the FBI and local authorities are searching yet again for the body of Eatn Patz. His body...and memory...was robbed of seeing such change. I am unsure of what new lead they think they have. I am unsure if after all these years they will find even the smallest shred of evidence. But I am sure that the search in and of itself is what matters most. It matters to Etan's parents and siblings that every lead be followed; every whisper be heard.

   I truly feel in my soul that the long suspected and well known pedophile, Jose Antonio Ramos, is the satanic son-of-a-bitch responsible for the vanishing...and likely violent rape and murder...of sweet Etan. There are even theories that he "sold" Etan to other pedophiles. But due to his constant denial of full knowledge, I doubt very seriously that he will ever divulge what he did to Etan and continues to do to the Patz family. What has become a mind numbing reality and horrific nightmare for them is nothing but a sick game to Ramos.

   My tears flow not only in honor of Etan but also out of painful respect for his family. And...for my own children as well. I cannot fathom what soul crushing pain is like. But I do know that for me, that pain would be instantaneous and never ending if anything even remotely similar were to befall my child . I imagine I would become very fixated on revenge. I imagine that I would have a very difficult time acting in a fashion that would make Jesus proud. Most especially if I ever got my hands on the demon responsible.

   I don't consider myself a vengeful or dangerous person. But I can see me...and only if my husband didn't beat me to it...taking the law into my own hands. And doing so with a smile on my face. What our justice system does not TO...but FOR...these douche bags is very rarely acceptable. I say FOR because so often it seems they are slapped on the hand as if they have stolen a cookie rather than stolen the innocence of a child. When it comes to children, mercy and leniency should be taken off the table. I am very aware of the horrific historical connotations hangings have...and rightfully so. But for those who choose to hurt a child, a public hanging is in order. Wasting our already cash strapped resources on rehabilitation is pointless for the sickos who force themselves on our children....who torture them...who make them do things that will haunt them for the rest of their days. IF that is, they even survive the trauma.

   I pray that some resolution comes of today's events. I pray that Etan Patz will not only be the face on a milk carton...but that he will  also be the face of all of our children. Rest peacefully sweet Etan.

Floors and plays...plays and floors...

      I gotta give it up to the blue collar workers more often. These fellas...and gals...have a fairly thankless job. I am speaking mainly of your plumbers, flooring specialists, painters or roofers. They walk into peoples' homes...usually in the midst a hot mess...and restore said abode to its previous splendor. And they do it in whatever weather...cold or hot...the good Lord decides to provide.

   The gentlemen that saved our house from itself...this time around...have far and away out-shined the ones we had previously. The ones from two years ago were C.R.E.E.P.Y. This latest batch of callused contractors were...for the most part...very  nice folk. They smelled bad. But that isn't due to a break up with hygiene. Its because they quite literally work in conditions that the average prissy pants...like MOI...would only do if it stood between her children and a meal or if a gun was held squarely against my sassy little head. Mud-caked boots and dirty fingernails isn't something...thank GOD...I have ever had to endure. And I have been immeasurably humbled over the last month for that fine blue-collar worker who sees those boots and fingernails as a blessing rather than a burden. Shame on me. Just shame on me.

   However now...my second floor has bathroom flooring. Again. And the carpet has been replaced by a delightfully mocha hued high-pile that is nothing short of heaven under foot. Not gonna lie...me and all three kids laid in the floor for a good half hour. So fabulous!

   So a big huge Laver THANK YOU to all those men who were a part of our home's decor over the last month. You have lessened the stress level within these walls and have restored a tradition long since abandoned...playing in the floor with my kids. Thank for that. Seriously...

   Now...to brag over my sweet multi-talented Kate!!! She just completed...to RAVE reviews I might add...her very first high school theater production! She was "Velma" in West Side Story! She was beyond amazing! I think I was perhaps the only parent who attended all four nights it showed. Watching her up there...in her newest element...was surreal. Three months of DAILY rehearsals. Three months of lost sleep. Three months of coming home to a warmed up dinner because she was at school until 7pm...my girl is dedicated:) And she did all of this while living in a house whose floors were pulled up...she did all this while having to share a bathroom with 4 other people...she did all this while living with a mom who whose house-related-stress-levels were SKY FREAKIN HIGH! Come to think of it...this play was likely just the distraction she needed;)Regardless...she was phenomenal. I am so proud of her!

   Thank you Lord for all the little...and in-my-face...ways you show your love, support and devotion to this family. You quite simply...ROCK.

Best Weekend Ever!

   What an incredibly blessed weekend The Lavers had! Saturday was spent at Sixflags seeing my best friend's daughter at her cheer competition. She was awesome! And lets face it...any time Nikki and I get to spend time together, its all gravy:)Then Sunday was witness to God's never ending and all encompassing provision. Jesse and I were reminded yet again of how utterly loving and in control our Savior truly is.

   I always enjoy singing. Its what I do. Its a huge part of who I am. But to do it for a second time at the wedding of a woman I love so very much...was a miracle and a testament to the power of God's love and favor.

   Jamie Janus was beloved by my family from day one. But when she became Jamie Lilly...her place at our family table was forever set. See...she married a man I always considered my God-brother. Loren was the best friend of my uncle Robert. Robert may be my father's brother, but due to our closeness in age and in spirit, "brother" is the title he will always hold with me. Robert and Loren were inseparable; which meant that Loren was a constant at every family gathering. I loved Loren so very much. And though he is gone, I still talk to him and count him as a very real and present part of our family...and of my life.

   Ya see...Loren died just three months after marrying Jamie. But I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that those three months were the best of his life. She paved the road for him toward salvation and to fundamentally grow in his spirituality. She was quite literally a God-send to him. His death shocked us, shook us and changed us in ways we are still realizing and dealing with. Though we were left with tears and questions, what we weren't left with was doubt. We all knew where he was. We all knew that Loren was sitting at the feet of Jesus.

   I cannot fathom the pain and the empty hole Jamie experienced. I pray fervently that I never become familiar with that. But what I have witnessed over the past five years is nothing short of a mighty and miraculous work in her life.

      One day, Jamie met Mike. Mike is a Christian man. Mike loves Jamie. Jamie loves Mike. Mike allows Jamie to keep Loren's memory close. Loren would have been great friends with Mike...of that I am sure. And just like I sang at the wedding of Jamie and Loren, then later at the going-home of Loren...Sunday I was able to sing at the wedding of Jamie and Mike.

   Seeing God do His thing is often something we overlook. Life is hard, fast and busy. But on days like this...its so very humbling to have the opportunity to take it all in. God always provides if we allow Him. God always holds our hand, carries our load, whispers His wisdom in a weary ear. I. Am. In. Awe. And I am guilty of failing to give Him all praise and glory in the minutia of my own life.

   Thank you Lord for allowing me to stand back and be reminded of how insignificant I really am. You healed a heart that at one point was sure it would be forever broken. You showered love and acceptance on a soul that on many a night was positive it was lost and undeserving. You did this for Jamie. And this lesson is not lost on me either. Thank you is insufficient. But its all I have. That...and my love and devotion.

   Here's to many years of Christ centered love and happiness to Mike and Jamie Mullis. And for me and Jesse as well. And...for all of you too.